My Journey To Being Happy Again

Friday, September 30, 2011

This is getting bad

I used to post on here at least once a week and now it's only about once a month or every few weeks. My life isn't even too busy, I just can't seem to remember to come on here and post.
I'm going to try to catch all of you up on the happenings of my life the past month.
If you remember I decided to make my blog about my weightloss journey and divorce. Yes, the big D word. Yikes!
I have just realized that alot of people and friends of mine are going through this and if I can at least help one person through this blog I will feel good.

For starters I will talk about month 4 after divorce.
  • I haven't cried anymore which is a blessing. It used to be that when a song came up or someone asked where my husband was I would instantly start crying.
  • I don't blame the female anymore which is another blessing. I never thought that day would come because I still have anger for the first female he was with 4.5 years ago and we weren't even married yet.
  • J is still going through separation anxiety. He is fine until his Daddy goes a few days or weeks without calling and then he will start biting himself and we start from square one all over again. But I will say that he's alot less aggressive so it IS getting better!!! Poor guy :(
  • The thought of being alone forever has almost fully left my mind. Alot of people laugh at that but when someone you loved walks out on you and your child you start to have doubts especially since most guys are looking for someone without a kid and someone that hasn't been married.
  • I had an ah-ha moment lastnight! Love them! Lol. I was driving and a car passed me with a couple that had their arms around eachother, made me lose my breath for a moment and then I said out loud "Kaycee, God is preparing someone right now for you and your son and it will be more than you can's worth the wait!" I love when God speaks to me through myself haha.
  • I have had to change the term "My ex husband" into "J's Daddy" so that I always remember to do what's best for our son and so I don't put anger into whatever I'm saying. It actually helps alot and is helping me to learn to be civil with him no matter what he does to me. Be Christ-like.
  • I got 2 babysitting jobs!!!! Two families found my info online and contacted me. My first set of income in 3 years besides Partylite!! I pick one child up from school and drop him off at home, and the other is an 8 month old that I just watch a few days a week! I love being around an infant again! Small jobs but at least it's a start and better than nothing! When your in a position where you were left with nothing and have to provide for you and your son, anything helps and I'm proud of myself.
Now on to the weightloss

Booooo!!! Hahaha it's been a struggle! I was on the biggest loser diet but then I went to dfw for a week and gained 4 lbs while there. That's terrible!!!! So I got back and jumped on the veggie/meat diet and lose quickly. I lost 3 lbs so far and have also decided to start the C25K program! Have any of you started that and if so what have your results been?!? I want to lose weight and also end up loving running! Today will be my 2nd day of starting! Once I lose a good amount I will jump back on the Biggest Loser diet to continue eating healthy meals. Now that I know I won't be having any more kids for awhile this is my time to be getting into shape and looking good for my future prince charming ;)